Got a Little Depressed There...

While working on my P90X results post, I started thinking about how much further I have to go to get back to my goal. I don’t have a specific number in my head, but it’s at least another 40 lbs away.

And that’s really depressing.

I was so upset with myself when I gained 87 lbs in less than a year. (Okay, sure part of that was a baby, but still.) Then I lost it. Yay me! Then I gained it again. Un-freaking-believable.

So I leave you with the few pictures I have of me at a comfortable weight.

November 2002

March 2009

Back to the Drawing Board

Ugh, my first weight gain since I’ve had Harper. I needed to lose 1.6 lbs this week to keep up with my birthday goal; instead, I’m up 0.8. Yeah, yeah… it’s not even a pound. But it really sucks that I’m at the point where the weight isn’t just falling off anymore. I’m breastfeeding! Aren’t breastfeeding moms supposed to burn like a kajillion calories a day and wake up looking like Heidi Klum ready to don tiny lingerie and strut down a runway?

I guess not.

Well, I really didn’t want it to come to this, but I guess I’m going to go back to tracking calories. Sadly, the 5th anniversary of my 24th birthday is only 5 weeks away and I have 10.4 lbs left to lose. I’m not going to throw the towel in yet since 2 lbs a week is still doable, but I really need to reign in the eating. Weight loss is 80% nutrition and I have to admit, I’ve been enjoying the freedom of eating whatever crap I wanted and still see the numbers going down.

I’m off to Nutrition Data to see how much I can eat today.

I pHail at Blogging

I suck. I admit it. I’ve been working on this new weekly feature that I was wanting to unveil today and it’s still not done. I could give excuses like the crying adolescent in her room or the screaming baby downstairs. I could even blame it on the dog, who if he doesn’t stop clawing at the door costing us our security deposit, will be let loose without his collar.

But the truth is, I suck at time management. I get caught on facebook or reading blogs then I realize it’s been 3 hours and I’ve accomplished nothing. Now, the husband will hopefully be home in 30 minutes and I haven’t done a thing. I still have a couple loads of laundry to run, dishes to do, floors to sweep, bathtubs to scrub.

Instead, I’m going to sit here and enjoy a mug of hot cocoa and resist the urge to ask Jason to go get me a Milky Way and a Red Bull. Yes, I’m a stress eater but I know that eating a candy bar will just make me feel worse.

P.S. Bonus points if you enjoyed my attempt at chemistry humor.

Ten Weeks

Wow, I can’t believe it’s been 10 weeks since Harper’s been home from the hospital. (Technically, 10 weeks and 2 days, but who’s counting?) She’s just shy of 13 lbs now and is happily wearing large 3-6 and small 6-9 clothing. I’m very proud since not a drop of formula has passed her mouth and she’s gaining like a bottle baby. Strangers don’t believe that she’s only 2 months old and she’s an expert at rolling over now. Unfortunately, Kaelin’s not gaining as well; she only put on a pound in the last six weeks.

As for me, I’m down 25.6 lbs since we came home from the hospital and 40 lbs total. I still have about 10 lbs to go to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight (and another 40 lbs after that). The goal is to make it by Memorial Day (aka my birthday!). That’s only 6 weeks! Yikes… 1.6 lbs/week. I really need to step it up this next month.

On to the bad habits… well, um, that’s why they are bad habits. I hate to admit it, but I made it 4 days without my Red Bull. Between the headaches and my lack of sleep, the family and I decided it would be better if I had a little caffeine in my system. I’ve also had a bit of chocolate (bit being defined as a pound’s worth) over the last week, but I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I can only move forward, right?

I haven’t had any soda or fast food though. Yay me!

Tomorrow, I’ll be unveiling a new weekly feature so make sure to check back!

Edit: I made it 4 days without Red Bull, 5 days without candy, and an amazing 8 days without soda or fast food. Back to the drawing board.